Incendiary Preaching!
The Right Irreverant Dan T. Glorious strode purposefully up the steps of the pulpit, glared at the cowering congregation and launched into his latest sermon."You are but shitte & dung, you beetling vermin! The Word is not for the likes of YOU! Our Lord of Lords; Lord of Creation; Giver of Life never intended the likes of YOU to understand His word. I repeat once again – You are but shitte & dung! The very presumption that such ignorant crawling creatures should come unto His Kingdom by way of a book is offensive to Him. It is the whisper of Beelzebub himself – and I defy the cloven-hoofed fiend with the flames of Righteousness. See here from your dark hearts how this paper burneth [the Reverend frantically tussles with a tinderbox, and, suddenly, the huge Bible is engulfed by flame]. Burn! Burn! BURN I SAY! His Word is not for the likes of YOU!”
Afterwards, whilst sipping a leisurely draft of Absinthe in the graveyard, I noticed the Irreverent Dan dabbing frantically at a wet patch around his crotch. For a moment I was baffled at this queer behaviour; until, that is, I realised with relief that, in the excitement of his rantings, he had cum in his britches.
posted by Gerry Bunt at 5:09 PM
7 Comments:
Sex and religion hey? What a semon, sorry sermon. Looks like I missed out on a few persecution complex's by not attending that day in church Colin. Maybe next time. ken
It was a truely powerful performance from the upstanding Irreverent Dan! I really appreciate you looking in mate.
Did he actually understand what he was saying? Sounds like some awful big words for our friend LOL.
Heaps of big words rosymosie - oh the power of pulpits, eh :-)
I'll have you know Rosy that the right reverent Dan T knows lots of big words.. He can't spell em, but he knows them!
That last comment was from me Rosey and Colin. Dave the Dan Many Coats....
Hi Dave the Dan, the man of many coats - it is a genuine thrill for me to have you comment over here. I will post that photo of you in many coats; and I will mention the fact that you taught me something new. See ya mate
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