Rooftops

Decided to climb up onto my roof today and take a photo. Here we are. This is what it looked like.

Jack Hargreaves

A face from my 1970's childhood - Jack Hargreaves. Ah, and there's the pipe (can you imagine that nowadays - a fuckin pipe man!!!). He used to present this programme for kids about 'country matters', and he'd puff away on his pipe in his potting shed, occasionally ruminating about owl pellets or whatever. The show's budget must've run to all of £20 a quarter (although Jack would've translated this into shillings!)

I remember his monumental pauses, tapping his pipe... the grandad we never had. If you've ever listened to JJ Cale sing, you'll know what I mean when I say that Jack was his TV presenter equivalent. To be savoured...

A Flippin' Hero!

Freddie Flintoff - a working class hero. A winner with a smile on his face. A genuine genuine bloke who can actually form sentences. For me, one of the funniest sights of last year was watching him trying to hold it together after his monuMENTAL post-Ashes celebration. Top man!

The Bewildered World of Abraham DeBunkem

I have been multi-blogging again - just can't seem to help meself! I've still got my back-catalogue from my days as the blogging sensation, DeBunkem, and it was eating at me; all this silliness sitting gathering virtual cobwebs in a word doc. Anyway, over the last week or so I've been posting away on my new outlet - 'The Bewildered World of Abraham DeBunkem', which can be found here: CLICK ME .
Anyway, there I am prattling away, without comment or care, and I suddenly realise that I can create my own ficticious commentors - bang. The loop is completed! I am a pig in shit with all my little voices chittering away - me talking to myself. I reminded Dave the Dan... how, a couple of years ago, we'd started sending ourselves emails to create the delusion of popularity. Well, here I go again. (Besides, how does anyone find other bloggers on this network - it's a fuckin mystery to me!)

Waiting for Bloggo

We wait...

Bap Talk!!!

It was well out of order! We were having a perfectly acceptable conversation, within the conventions of our current time-frame and cultural context, when... when he goes and mentions that he ate something from a bap.

"Bap!" I exclaimed indignantly.
"How dare you hit me with that low-down 1970's culinary talk without any warning whatsovever."
The culprit knows who he is, and he should be ashamed of himself for this transgression.

Slack Buddy

Springing

Spring sprung
bulbs alight
buddies are
bursting
to get their
shite
together

Band in my head...

This is the song that the band in my head is singing right now, and got me outta bed.

'Hangin around
with nuffin to say
Hangin around
in the doorway way
there's a Herbert there
with his robot arms
there's a Herbert man
with a monotone drone

Dancing like an Uncle Graham
Dancing like an Uncle Graham
Dancing like an Uncle Graham
An eating, drinking, shitting machine

Hanging around
with no point of view
Hanging around
like a man-sized mound
there's a Herbert there
with his robot arms
there's a Herbert man
with a monotone drone

Dancing like an Uncle Graham
Dancing like an Uncle Graham
Dancing like an Uncle Graham
An eating, drinking, shitting machine'

"Here's to Madeleine"

Another day - another day out looking about. Found some nice Roman pottery and cut bones from their dinners. Stimulates the historical imagination to think about the everyday chomping of someone from nearly 2,000 years ago. It was raining, and Dave the Dan the man of many coats and I headed back to the motor for sandwiches and a flask of tea. (Yeh, it's quaint and English we know - but such simple joys!)

And thus, Dave the... admires the tea spoon, carefully packaged in a plastic bag - hygenic and handy. I walk on the wildside, but when it comes to tea 'Be prepared', that's my motto.











The tea is poured (a blend of Earl Grey and Kenyan Njunu) and left to cool...












Ah, egg and tomato sandwiches - yummy. Well done Dave the... these are slurpolicious!











Time to drink a toast to our blogging friend, so far away in Australia. "Here's to Madeleine!" we boomed, with gusto. Huzzah to that!!!

Oak Stone

Stone inscribed on three planes, with oak leaves on one of them. To the side of this, grows an oak tree which catches the eye with its brown paper leaves refusing to fall.

Tranquility

The grave of a 12 year old boy, inscribed with his poem.

Saw this grave today

Friends & Comrades

Tingle Tummy Feeling

Just looked in on my nine year old daughter, sleeping a deep, deep sleep. I got that tingling in the tummy feeling of unconditional love; a feeling beyond words. This feeling is powerful and simple, and I am very glad that I get to feel it.

Ruin

Literally a stone's throw from the church in the previous post, stands the ruin of an abandoned church. Overgrown, and - for me - full of mystery. A place where generations of people were baptised, married and buried (the church as a hub of a community, concerned with 'hatching, matching and dispatching'). I am going to go back to this one in the very near future. Fascinating...

Views of a country Church

Funeral

Went to my Grandad's funeral today. He was there too. I am a naughty boy. At one point, right at the end, just as people were leaving, I whispered to my brother - "look out of that window and tell me there's a God". The crematorium had a lovely view of some factory chimneys and the steam rising in the Winter chill from a landfill site...

During proceedings I made the following mental note to myself about the funeral preparations which I will never get round to doing (unless I make it into a blog - the preparations, not the funeral!!!). I said to myself: "Colin, make sure that any farewells are held in a small room - gives the illusion of popularity".

At the end of the day, I was struck by the crushing magnificence of my cousin's handshake. He is one strong, tough fucker who specialises in repairing church roofs. Earlier, he had recounted a story where a mate of his had fallen off a roof, landing on a grave. He was shaken and unscathed. In fact the most debilitating thing about the accident was when he happened to notice the name inscribed on the grave he had fallen on - it was his own name! Well fuck me...

Stan says...

"I've been young for so long now, I'll never get old."

Wanker

I like to wank
it is pleasure for free
I like to wank
I does it for me
Get my tadger
in my hand
Play it like a
one-man band
Catch cum in a
wankerchief
stealing pleasure
by hand relief

Fundamentalist Certainty

If you are a Fundamentalist and you are utterly convinced that there is a God, and that you are living your life according to His teachings as set out in the some ancient text, then I have some advice for you. If you really, truely believe, then trust to Him to do his work - and shut up. Okay, got that - shut up.

Pissing in the wind

Pissing in the wind some days,
just pissing in the wind
today's a fuckin right off man,
just pissing in the wind
Are you bouquet today?
No, I'm fucking weeds.
Forget your sliming rhyming words
There's no fucking answers here
I'm just pissing in the wind

A Gut Reaction - tribute to my bank

I took these today

River Reflection